Sunday, March 28, 2010
The Mr. Mom job sucks
The wife's been gone for two weeks now and may not be back for a couple more. That means I'm Mr. Mom. This job sucks. Never, in twenty-eight+ years of marriage have I told her I wanted her job, yet it seems like I get stuck with it for six or seven weeks a year while she's down south at her sister's house. Last night I had to make something for dinner, so I decided on stuffed bell peppers. Here's a picture of how they turned out. I will have to say, they tasted pretty good. The youngest daughter was here to help me eat them and she said we should have them more often. That's good: a kid saying we should eat a vegetable dish more often. Yeah, there was bell pepper, rice, tomatoes and corn in there, but there was hamburger as well, so I did meet the "dead animal for dinner" requirement. I just can't see the sense of cooking if there's not some kind of roasted flesh on the plate when you're done.
I spent five straight days working on the shop; trying to get it finished so I can get the final inspection done on it. I'll be out there again this next week, although not every day as I have some teaching to do down at the college. Hard to pass up the easy money. I spent the last two Saturdays teaching a basic fireline safety class to all the contractors who want to sign up for fire assignments this year. The hardest part of that class is staying awake while the other instructors are speaking. It's not that they're bad speakers, I just find it difficult to keep my eyes open in a darkened room while sitting in a comfortable chair. It simply seems natural to want to nod off. I will say that "work" was a lot easier than the digging of two hundred and twenty feet of trench, placing of water line, back-filling and compacting that I did on Friday. That working for a living sucks!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I'm sick of telemarketers!
I really hate telemarketer calls. They're annoying. Yesterday I placed a new message on my phone's answering machine. It says, "Hello, we're not home. If this is someone we know, or someone we might want to know, please leave a message and we'll get right back to you. If this is about the Susanville Bluegrass Festival, please leave a message and we'll get right back to you. If this is a telemarketer, please die a slow and agonizing death where your eyes pop out of your head and the blood drains from your body. Thanks...have a nice day!"
I can hardly wait for the first telemarketer to call.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Calling your congressman is harassment?
Here's a story for you...a true one I might add. Kinda pissed me off:
"Yesterday, I decided to call Rep. John Garamendi’s (CA-10) office in Washington, D.C. He’s my representative and I wanted to voice my opposition to the Senate Health Care Bill. I spoke with a female staffer and politely told her that, while I support health care reform, I oppose the Senate Bill because it wasn’t true “reform.” She said the Congressman thinks it’s a good bill and that he campaigned on health care reform. I told her I knew that. I also mentioned that I voted for him. When I tried to give her specific reasons why the Senate Bill would harm our system rather than reform it, she refused to listen. She said she was very busy and hung up on me. Being the persistent person that I am, I kept calling back. Each time I tried to finish my point, she hung up.
I called one more time. This time she said, “If you call one more time, we will notify Capital Police.” I asked why my conduct warranted involving federal law enforcement agents. She said I was “harassing” her. I tried to explain that trying to convince a representative to change his or her vote didn’t constitute “harassment.” Before I could fully explain, she hung up again.
I called back. This time, I asked to speak to her supervisor in order to report her repeated hanging up as well as the threat she made. I was placed on hold. Thinking I was holding for her supervisor, I was shocked when a Federal Agent with the Capital Police picked-up the telephone.
At first, the Agent was curt with me. He claimed I was harassing Mr. Garamendi’s staff by continually calling after being told to stop calling. I asked him when it became a federal crime to lobby a congressman. He said that it wasn’t but it was a crime to “harass” congressional members and staff pursuant to 47 U.S.C. 223. I told him I was an attorney (which I am) and that I would research the statute he had cited.
After researching 47 U.S.C. 223, I called Mr. Garamendi’s office again and asked to be transferred back to the Capital Police Agent. The Agent picked up the phone and I explained to him that the statute he cited was not controlling since it only prohibits people from calling with the specific intent to harass. I further explained that I was simply trying to voice my concerns with the intent of getting Mr. Garamendi to change his mind, not to harass his staff. The Agent eventually agreed with my position and said he would call Mr. Garamendi’s office and instruct his staff that I was within my rights to call my congressman and voice my concerns.
After I hung up, I realized that this story should be told. Besides being an attorney, I’ve also had the privilege of serving this great country in the United States Marine Corps. Having seen the ugly legislative process the Senate Bill had been through, I saw this as not just another tactic to pass the Senate Bill at all costs, but also as an affront to our liberties.
While I’m fortunate enough to be able to legally challenge what happened today, others aren’t. The sad part is the democrats know this. They know that Americans unfamiliar with federal jurisprudence can easily be silenced when threats to involve federal agents are made. They know that most Americans don’t want trouble and they’ll go away rather than face the possibility of having to explain themselves to federal agents. That’s why I found this tactic appalling, as a Marine, as an attorney and as a proud American.
During my final contact with Mr. Garamendi’s staff, it was confirmed to me that he would vote for the Senate Bill no matter what. I was told that I was wasting my time by calling. Mr. Garamendi is a junior member of the House of Representatives. He was just elected via a special election last November. He has made it clear that he is willing to forsake his constituents in order to please the Speaker of the House.
Speaker Pelosi has said that she will stop at nothing to get the Senate Bill passed. She publicly stated that she would “pole vault over a wall” if barriers stood in her way. While that may be an amusing spectacle, it is indicative of what happened to me today. Apparently, threatening Americans with federal crimes to silence them is the latest tool in Speaker Pelosi’s dirty bag of tricks.
In the coming days, I’m sure more stories will develop illustrating the “win at all costs” tactics being employed by democrats. It’s these tactics that have appalled a majority of Americans to the point that the Senate Bill has overwhelmingly been rejected by the American people. When we try to explain that to Speaker Pelosi’s Caucus, we are threatened with criminal sanctions. We are told to shut up or face federal agents. Such treatment may be acceptable in the former Soviet Union, but it’s repulsive in the country I love and served. Is this hope and change?"
I called one more time. This time she said, “If you call one more time, we will notify Capital Police.” I asked why my conduct warranted involving federal law enforcement agents. She said I was “harassing” her. I tried to explain that trying to convince a representative to change his or her vote didn’t constitute “harassment.” Before I could fully explain, she hung up again.
I called back. This time, I asked to speak to her supervisor in order to report her repeated hanging up as well as the threat she made. I was placed on hold. Thinking I was holding for her supervisor, I was shocked when a Federal Agent with the Capital Police picked-up the telephone.
At first, the Agent was curt with me. He claimed I was harassing Mr. Garamendi’s staff by continually calling after being told to stop calling. I asked him when it became a federal crime to lobby a congressman. He said that it wasn’t but it was a crime to “harass” congressional members and staff pursuant to 47 U.S.C. 223. I told him I was an attorney (which I am) and that I would research the statute he had cited.
After researching 47 U.S.C. 223, I called Mr. Garamendi’s office again and asked to be transferred back to the Capital Police Agent. The Agent picked up the phone and I explained to him that the statute he cited was not controlling since it only prohibits people from calling with the specific intent to harass. I further explained that I was simply trying to voice my concerns with the intent of getting Mr. Garamendi to change his mind, not to harass his staff. The Agent eventually agreed with my position and said he would call Mr. Garamendi’s office and instruct his staff that I was within my rights to call my congressman and voice my concerns.
After I hung up, I realized that this story should be told. Besides being an attorney, I’ve also had the privilege of serving this great country in the United States Marine Corps. Having seen the ugly legislative process the Senate Bill had been through, I saw this as not just another tactic to pass the Senate Bill at all costs, but also as an affront to our liberties.
While I’m fortunate enough to be able to legally challenge what happened today, others aren’t. The sad part is the democrats know this. They know that Americans unfamiliar with federal jurisprudence can easily be silenced when threats to involve federal agents are made. They know that most Americans don’t want trouble and they’ll go away rather than face the possibility of having to explain themselves to federal agents. That’s why I found this tactic appalling, as a Marine, as an attorney and as a proud American.
During my final contact with Mr. Garamendi’s staff, it was confirmed to me that he would vote for the Senate Bill no matter what. I was told that I was wasting my time by calling. Mr. Garamendi is a junior member of the House of Representatives. He was just elected via a special election last November. He has made it clear that he is willing to forsake his constituents in order to please the Speaker of the House.
Speaker Pelosi has said that she will stop at nothing to get the Senate Bill passed. She publicly stated that she would “pole vault over a wall” if barriers stood in her way. While that may be an amusing spectacle, it is indicative of what happened to me today. Apparently, threatening Americans with federal crimes to silence them is the latest tool in Speaker Pelosi’s dirty bag of tricks.
In the coming days, I’m sure more stories will develop illustrating the “win at all costs” tactics being employed by democrats. It’s these tactics that have appalled a majority of Americans to the point that the Senate Bill has overwhelmingly been rejected by the American people. When we try to explain that to Speaker Pelosi’s Caucus, we are threatened with criminal sanctions. We are told to shut up or face federal agents. Such treatment may be acceptable in the former Soviet Union, but it’s repulsive in the country I love and served. Is this hope and change?"
Thursday, March 18, 2010
So, it's all about health care reform?
Here's some revisions the house has come up with for the senate bill. Can someone explain what any of this has to do with health care?
Sec. 1408. Elimination of unintended application of cellulosic biofuel producer credit. Adds an additional revenue provision. In 2008, Congress enacted a $1.01 per gallon tax credit for the production of biofuel from cellulosic feedstocks in order to encourage the development of new production capacity for biofuels that are not derived from food source materials. Congress is aware that some taxpayers are seeking to claim the cellulosic biofuel tax credit for unprocessed fuels, such as black liquor. The provision would limit eligibility for the tax credit to processed fuels (i.e., fuels that could be used in a car engine or in a home heating application).
Sec. 1409. Codification of economic substance doctrine and penalties. Adds an additional revenue provision. The economic substance doctrine is a judicial doctrine that has been used by the courts to deny tax benefits when the transaction generating these tax benefits lacks economic substance. The courts have not applied the economic substance doctrine uniformly. The provision would clarify the manner in which the economic substance doctrine should be applied by the courts and would impose a penalty on understatements attributable to a transaction lacking economic substance.
Sec. 1410. Time for payment of corporate estimated taxes. Provides for a one-time adjustment to corporate estimated taxes for payments made during calendar year 2014.
Sec. 1411. No impact on Social Security trust funds. Provides that Title II of the Social Security Act (the old age, survivor, and disability benefits program (OASDI)) is not amended or modified by the bill.Subtitle F –
Other Provisions
Sec. 1501. TAA for communities. Appropriates $500 Million a year for fiscal years 2010 through 2014 in the Community College and Career Training Grant program for community colleges to develop and improve educational or career training programs. Ensures that each state receives at least 0.5 percent of the total funds appropriated. Title II – Health, Education, Labor, and PensionsSubtitle A – EducationSection 2001. Short Title; References. Provides that this subtitle may be cited as the “SAFRA Act,” and that, except as otherwise provided, whenever an amendment to, or repeal of, a section or other provision, the reference shall be considered to be made to a section or other provision of the Higher Education Act of 1965.Part I—Investing in Students and Families
Section 2101. Federal Pell Grants. Amends the Higher Education Act to include mandatory funding for the Pell Grant. This provides additional mandatory funding to augment funds appropriated to increase the federal maximum Pell Grant award by the change in the Consumer Price Index. The mandatory component of the funding is determined by inflating the previous year’s total and subtracting the maximum award provided for in the appropriations act for the previous year or $4860, whichever is greater. Beginning in the 2018-2019 academic year, the maximum Pell award will be at the 2017-2018 level.
Section 2102. Student Financial Assistance. This section provides $13.5 billion in mandatory appropriations to the Federal Pell Grant program.Section 2103. College Access Challenge Grant Program. This section amends section 786 of the Higher Education Act by authorizing and appropriating $150 million for fiscal years 2010 through 2014 for the College Access Challenge Grant program created under the College Cost Reduction and Access Act of 2007. Provides that the allotment for each State under this section for a fiscal year shall not be an amount that is less than 1.0 percent of the total amount appropriated for a fiscal year.
Section 2104. Investment in Historically Black Colleges and Universities and Minority Serving Institutions. This section amends section 371(b) of the Higher Education Act by extending funding for programs under this section created under the College Cost Reduction and Access Act of 2007 for programs at Historically Black Colleges and Universities and minority-serving institutions through 2019, including programs that help low-income students attain degrees in the fields of science, technology, engineering or mathematics by the following annual amounts: $100 million to Hispanic Serving Institutions, $85 million to Historically Black Colleges and Universities, $15 million to Predominantly Black Institutions, $30 million to Tribal Colleges and Universities, $15 million to Alaska, Hawaiian Native Institutions, $5 million to Asian American and Pacific Islander Institutions, and $5 million to Native American non-tribal serving institutions.
Part II—Student Loan Reform
Section 2201. Termination of Federal Family Education Loan Appropriations. This section terminates the authority to make or insure any additional loans in the Federal Family Education Loan program after June 30, 2010.
Section 2202. Termination of Federal loan Insurance Program. This section is a conforming amendment with regard to the termination of the FFEL program, limiting Federal insurance to those loans in the Federal Family Education Loan program for loans first disbursed prior to July 1, 2010.
Section 2203. Termination of Applicable Interest Rates. This section makes a conforming amendment with regard to the termination of the FFEL program limiting interest rate applicability to Stafford, Consolidation, and PLUS loans to those loans made before July 1, 2010.
Section 2204. Termination of Federal payments to Reduce Student Interest Costs. This section makes a conforming amendment with regard to the termination of the FFEL program by limiting subsidy payments to lenders for those loans for which the first disbursement is made before July 1, 2010.
Section 2205. Termination of FFEL PLUS Loans. This section makes a conforming change with regard to the termination of the FFEL program for federal PLUS loans by prohibiting further FFEL origination of loans after July 1, 2010.
Section 2206. Federal Consolidation Loans. This section makes conforming changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program for federal consolidation loans. This section also provides that, for a 1 year period, borrowers who have loans under both the Direct Lending program and the FFEL program, or who have loans under either program as well as loans that have been sold to the Secretary, may consolidate such loans under the Direct Lending program regardless of whether such borrowers have entered repayment on such loans.
Section 2207. Termination of Unsubsidized Stafford loans for Middle-Income Borrowers. This section makes conforming changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program for Unsubsidized Stafford loans by prohibiting further FFEL origination of loans after July 1, 2010.
Section 2208. Termination of Special Allowances. This section makes conforming changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program by limiting special allowance payments to lenders under the FFEL program to loans first disbursed before July 1, 2010.
Section 2209. Origination of Direct Loans at Institutions Outside the United States. This section provides for the origination of federal Direct Loans at institutions located outside of the United States, through a financial institution designated by the Secretary.
Section 2210. Conforming amendments. This section makes conforming technical changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program for Department of Education agreements with Direct Lending institutions.
Section 2211. Terms and Conditions of Loans. This section makes conforming technical changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program to clarify the terms and conditions of Direct Loans.
Section 2212. Contracts. This section directs the Secretary to award contracts for servicing federal Direct Loans to eligible non-profit servicers. In addition, this section provides that for the first 100,000 borrower loan accounts, the Secretary shall establish a separate pricing tier. Specifies that the Secretary is to allocate the loan accounts of 100,000 borrowers to each eligible non-profit servicer. The section also permits the Secretary to reallocate, increase, reduce or terminate an eligible non-profit servicer’s allocation based on the performance of such servicer. In addition, this section appropriates mandatory funds to the Secretary to be obligated for administrative costs of servicing contracts with eligible non-profit servicers. This section also requires the Secretary to provide technical assistance to institutions of higher education participating or seeking to participate in the Direct Lending program. This section appropriates $50 million for fiscal year 2010 to pay for this technical assistance. Additionally, this section authorizes the Secretary to provide payments to loan servicers for retaining jobs at location in the United States where such servicers were operating on January 1, 2010. This section appropriates $25,000,000 for each of fiscal years 2010 and 2011 for such purpose.
Section 2213. Agreements with State-Owned Banks. This section amends Part D of Title IV to direct the Secretary to enter into an agreement with an eligible lender for the purpose of providing Federal loan insurance on student loans made by state-owned banks.
Section 2214. Income-Based Repayment. The section amends the Income-Based Repayment program to cap student loan payments for new borrowers after July 1, 2014 to 10% of adjusted income, from 15% percent, and to forgive remaining balances after 20 years of repayment, from 25 years.
Sec. 1408. Elimination of unintended application of cellulosic biofuel producer credit. Adds an additional revenue provision. In 2008, Congress enacted a $1.01 per gallon tax credit for the production of biofuel from cellulosic feedstocks in order to encourage the development of new production capacity for biofuels that are not derived from food source materials. Congress is aware that some taxpayers are seeking to claim the cellulosic biofuel tax credit for unprocessed fuels, such as black liquor. The provision would limit eligibility for the tax credit to processed fuels (i.e., fuels that could be used in a car engine or in a home heating application).
Sec. 1409. Codification of economic substance doctrine and penalties. Adds an additional revenue provision. The economic substance doctrine is a judicial doctrine that has been used by the courts to deny tax benefits when the transaction generating these tax benefits lacks economic substance. The courts have not applied the economic substance doctrine uniformly. The provision would clarify the manner in which the economic substance doctrine should be applied by the courts and would impose a penalty on understatements attributable to a transaction lacking economic substance.
Sec. 1410. Time for payment of corporate estimated taxes. Provides for a one-time adjustment to corporate estimated taxes for payments made during calendar year 2014.
Sec. 1411. No impact on Social Security trust funds. Provides that Title II of the Social Security Act (the old age, survivor, and disability benefits program (OASDI)) is not amended or modified by the bill.Subtitle F –
Other Provisions
Sec. 1501. TAA for communities. Appropriates $500 Million a year for fiscal years 2010 through 2014 in the Community College and Career Training Grant program for community colleges to develop and improve educational or career training programs. Ensures that each state receives at least 0.5 percent of the total funds appropriated. Title II – Health, Education, Labor, and PensionsSubtitle A – EducationSection 2001. Short Title; References. Provides that this subtitle may be cited as the “SAFRA Act,” and that, except as otherwise provided, whenever an amendment to, or repeal of, a section or other provision, the reference shall be considered to be made to a section or other provision of the Higher Education Act of 1965.Part I—Investing in Students and Families
Section 2101. Federal Pell Grants. Amends the Higher Education Act to include mandatory funding for the Pell Grant. This provides additional mandatory funding to augment funds appropriated to increase the federal maximum Pell Grant award by the change in the Consumer Price Index. The mandatory component of the funding is determined by inflating the previous year’s total and subtracting the maximum award provided for in the appropriations act for the previous year or $4860, whichever is greater. Beginning in the 2018-2019 academic year, the maximum Pell award will be at the 2017-2018 level.
Section 2102. Student Financial Assistance. This section provides $13.5 billion in mandatory appropriations to the Federal Pell Grant program.Section 2103. College Access Challenge Grant Program. This section amends section 786 of the Higher Education Act by authorizing and appropriating $150 million for fiscal years 2010 through 2014 for the College Access Challenge Grant program created under the College Cost Reduction and Access Act of 2007. Provides that the allotment for each State under this section for a fiscal year shall not be an amount that is less than 1.0 percent of the total amount appropriated for a fiscal year.
Section 2104. Investment in Historically Black Colleges and Universities and Minority Serving Institutions. This section amends section 371(b) of the Higher Education Act by extending funding for programs under this section created under the College Cost Reduction and Access Act of 2007 for programs at Historically Black Colleges and Universities and minority-serving institutions through 2019, including programs that help low-income students attain degrees in the fields of science, technology, engineering or mathematics by the following annual amounts: $100 million to Hispanic Serving Institutions, $85 million to Historically Black Colleges and Universities, $15 million to Predominantly Black Institutions, $30 million to Tribal Colleges and Universities, $15 million to Alaska, Hawaiian Native Institutions, $5 million to Asian American and Pacific Islander Institutions, and $5 million to Native American non-tribal serving institutions.
Part II—Student Loan Reform
Section 2201. Termination of Federal Family Education Loan Appropriations. This section terminates the authority to make or insure any additional loans in the Federal Family Education Loan program after June 30, 2010.
Section 2202. Termination of Federal loan Insurance Program. This section is a conforming amendment with regard to the termination of the FFEL program, limiting Federal insurance to those loans in the Federal Family Education Loan program for loans first disbursed prior to July 1, 2010.
Section 2203. Termination of Applicable Interest Rates. This section makes a conforming amendment with regard to the termination of the FFEL program limiting interest rate applicability to Stafford, Consolidation, and PLUS loans to those loans made before July 1, 2010.
Section 2204. Termination of Federal payments to Reduce Student Interest Costs. This section makes a conforming amendment with regard to the termination of the FFEL program by limiting subsidy payments to lenders for those loans for which the first disbursement is made before July 1, 2010.
Section 2205. Termination of FFEL PLUS Loans. This section makes a conforming change with regard to the termination of the FFEL program for federal PLUS loans by prohibiting further FFEL origination of loans after July 1, 2010.
Section 2206. Federal Consolidation Loans. This section makes conforming changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program for federal consolidation loans. This section also provides that, for a 1 year period, borrowers who have loans under both the Direct Lending program and the FFEL program, or who have loans under either program as well as loans that have been sold to the Secretary, may consolidate such loans under the Direct Lending program regardless of whether such borrowers have entered repayment on such loans.
Section 2207. Termination of Unsubsidized Stafford loans for Middle-Income Borrowers. This section makes conforming changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program for Unsubsidized Stafford loans by prohibiting further FFEL origination of loans after July 1, 2010.
Section 2208. Termination of Special Allowances. This section makes conforming changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program by limiting special allowance payments to lenders under the FFEL program to loans first disbursed before July 1, 2010.
Section 2209. Origination of Direct Loans at Institutions Outside the United States. This section provides for the origination of federal Direct Loans at institutions located outside of the United States, through a financial institution designated by the Secretary.
Section 2210. Conforming amendments. This section makes conforming technical changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program for Department of Education agreements with Direct Lending institutions.
Section 2211. Terms and Conditions of Loans. This section makes conforming technical changes with regard to the termination of the FFEL program to clarify the terms and conditions of Direct Loans.
Section 2212. Contracts. This section directs the Secretary to award contracts for servicing federal Direct Loans to eligible non-profit servicers. In addition, this section provides that for the first 100,000 borrower loan accounts, the Secretary shall establish a separate pricing tier. Specifies that the Secretary is to allocate the loan accounts of 100,000 borrowers to each eligible non-profit servicer. The section also permits the Secretary to reallocate, increase, reduce or terminate an eligible non-profit servicer’s allocation based on the performance of such servicer. In addition, this section appropriates mandatory funds to the Secretary to be obligated for administrative costs of servicing contracts with eligible non-profit servicers. This section also requires the Secretary to provide technical assistance to institutions of higher education participating or seeking to participate in the Direct Lending program. This section appropriates $50 million for fiscal year 2010 to pay for this technical assistance. Additionally, this section authorizes the Secretary to provide payments to loan servicers for retaining jobs at location in the United States where such servicers were operating on January 1, 2010. This section appropriates $25,000,000 for each of fiscal years 2010 and 2011 for such purpose.
Section 2213. Agreements with State-Owned Banks. This section amends Part D of Title IV to direct the Secretary to enter into an agreement with an eligible lender for the purpose of providing Federal loan insurance on student loans made by state-owned banks.
Section 2214. Income-Based Repayment. The section amends the Income-Based Repayment program to cap student loan payments for new borrowers after July 1, 2014 to 10% of adjusted income, from 15% percent, and to forgive remaining balances after 20 years of repayment, from 25 years.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sister-in-law update
The wife headed for Southern California today to be with her sister. Her sister is not doing well at all and is back in the hospital. She keeps going in and out. It's not looking good.
Friday, March 12, 2010
My brother-in-law is a piece of CRAP!!!!!!!!!
My wife's sister has cancer. Two days ago she went to the clinic to get her radiation treatment (taken by a friend). She had been bleeding for several days and passed out from lack of blood at the clinic. She was taken to the hospital and was given 4 units of blood. Today her POS husband didn't even bother to go see her. What a waste of flesh and oxygen! If my wife was in the hospital like that you couldn't pull my fat butt out of there with a bulldozer. For the life of me I can not imagine abandoning my wife like that. What a large pile of turds he is!
GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
"Heeeey ABBOTT!"
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, “Who's on First?” might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W.”
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue “W” if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on “START”...
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W.”
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue “W” if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on “START”...
Monday, March 8, 2010
My radio show
Some of you may know I have a weekly bluegrass music radio show. I have one version that airs here locally on KSYC, 103.9FM. I have another version that airs on Monday mornings at 8AM on KENC Radio...a streaming internet station. Below is a player that will allow you to listen to my show...hopefully anyway. The other player I was using started freaking out so I had to find something else. I came up with this simple one. Try it out, please, and let me know if it works for you. Thanks.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...this is the show that was online this morning. It's a continuous 58 minutes with no breaks or commercials.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Upcoming event: Saturday, March 13th
Next Saturday, March 13th, we are having a one day men's retreat/conference at our church. Since this whole thing was my idea, I hope it goes well: I really don't want to get tarred and feathered by folks I know.
The day is centered around marriage and relationships and goes from morning until the evening. The deal starts at 9:30 AM with an introduction/orientation. from 10-11, and from 11-12, there are two speakers who will talk for about 45 minutes each. At lunch there'll be "build your own" sandwiches, chips, punch and coffee. At 1PM a local group will play music. They'll go until 2 O'Clock. From 3-4 and from 4-5 there are two more speakers. At 5 PM there will be a dinner and the wives are invited to that. The men will cook, serve and clean up. At 6:30 PM there will be a two hour concert featuring the Kate White Band from the Portland, Oregon/Vancouver, Washington area. The concert is open to the entire community and there is no admission charge. There is also no additional charge for the wives to join their husbands for dinner. The cost of the day, for the men, will be $20...pretty reasonable I would think. We will do a "pass the hat" thing during the concert to help defray the hard costs of the day. I believe it will be a good event and I sure hope it's well attended.
What is for dinner? Well, we're having something I developed. We start with skinless chicken breast. Then we cut a pita pocket in the meat. After that we throw it in a bowl and soak it in apple juice over night. The next day we put garlic powder inside the pocket and stuff it with a mix of apples, onions, celery and pecans (run through a food processor first). Next we season the outside of the chicken and place it in a baking pan. It's cooked for 30-40 minutes. At that point we smear a honey glaze over it and put it back in the oven for another 20 minutes or so. When it's removed from the oven it gets another dash of honey glaze sauce. That will be coupled with potatoes, carrots, celery and onions...seasoned up and slow cooked in large roasters. Sound good?
The band that will be playing is OUTSTANDING!!! Here's a YouTube video of them doing a song I really like called "I Will Rise".
One of the speakers for Saturday is a man named Jerry Broomfield. He's one of the pastors at one of the black churches down in Weed (about 20 miles south of us). I had never met him before asking him to speak, but he came highly recommended by another guy in our church who I know well. In fact, Jerry was a student of the guy in our church (Frank) back when he was in high school
When I went down to meet Jerry, and take him some fliers for the event, I got to talk with him for awhile. Frank, the guy in our church, had said Jerry had had some tough issues in his life: he wasn't lying. Jerry said he went into the hospital to have his right leg removed below the knee...and was released eight months later. When they removed his leg, below the knee, something went wrong and a few days later they had to go back and remove it above the knee. When he was in the second surgery he suffered a heart attack. After that he ended up with severe liver problems. Wow!
I met Jerry at his place of business: a thrift store/food bank. While I was there talking with him a lady came up with some pillows she wanted to buy. I think they were marked $3, or maybe it was $4. There was another person at the cash register when the lady brought up her pillows and she was handling the transaction. The lady started off the conversation by saying the pillows were soiled and that she was going to have to clean them up. She then said she was thinking of paying $1 each for them. The person handling the register paused and looked at Jerry to see what he wanted to do. Jerry just smiled, put out his hand to the lady and said, "That'll be just fine."
Jerry told me that Frank had been a tough teacher and was hard on Jerry and his friends. But, he said, that was exactly what they needed. He then said something to me that impressed me more than anything has in many years. After he told me Frank had been hard on them he said that because of that Jerry and his friends had all grown up to be successful.
I was talking to a guy who didn't have all his body parts, and the parts he did have left didn't function all that well. I was talking to a guy who was not at the top of the employment heap: he was just a guy who was barely getting by. I was talking to a guy who was selling $1 pillows to people. And he told me, without hesitation or reservation, that he was successful.
I have never been so humbled in my life.
I am very much looking forward to hearing Jerry speak this coming Saturday.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Shutter Island
Last night we went to see the new movie, "Shutter Island". I had heard that it was a pretty good suspense movie, not a blood and guts flick, so the wife even went along. When we got there the middle daughter paid for everyone to get in, and then she bought us all a snack. Pretty cool.
I sat down to wait for the movie to start and started to eat my sour patch kids. After about five chews on the first piece of candy I had a crown pop off. Great, just great! The bright side of that is it was on a tooth that had previously had a root canal, so at least it didn't hurt. Oh well, I'll get it glued back on next week.
The movie was indeed a pretty good one. It kept you on the edge of your seat for the entire time and there really wasn't that much "jumping out" at you. There was quite a bit of cussing, which didn't thrill my bride, but other than that it was good. It was definitely a twisted plot movie and you really had to pay attention to follow along: kind of a thinkers suspense movie. Nothing wrong with that at all. I'm not going to go into detail regarding what all the movie was about, but I will say that if you like edge of the seat movies this one would be a good one to see.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Spring
For the last four weeks the weather has been interesting, to say the least. First, there was a storm that came charging into the county like an intruding army. Mt. Shasta City, thirty five miles south of us, received five to six feet of snow overnight and pretty much shut the town down for a few days. Thankfully we here in Yreka were spared the snow and just got rain. The next week we had all the windows open in the house for two straight days because the temperatures were in the sixties. Then it rain and snowed again, and a couple days after that we had the windows open again. On Tuesday morning of this week we traveled twenty miles from here down to Weed to watch my daughter's high school choir perform. It was raining down there, but was not bad temperature-wise. We went to bed that night and it was warm and dry. When I climbed out of bed on Wednesday there was two inches of snow on the ground here at the house and eight inches down in Weed.
It's obviously spring in Siskiyou County.
I don't know what spring is like where you are, but for here this weather pattern is pretty much the norm. Nice one day, horrible the next, nice the day after that. It can be bitterly cold on Monday, and tee-shirt weather on Wednesday...then it can snow on Friday. It's been that way every year since we moved here in 1989. At least it's not boring, I suppose. Dressing in layers is a very good idea when living in this county. Maybe the weather is one reason there's only 43,000 people in the entire county. Well, that and the fact that the unemployment rate has been well over 20% for quite a few years.
I like spring. Spring means baseball season is almost here. Spring means bluegrass festival season is almost here. Spring means it's getting close to the time where I won't have to thaw the door of my pick-up so I can open it to get in. Spring is a time of hope, or so I hear. For the last thirty-six springs I've hoped that this would be the year my Cubs would win the world series. They say hope springs eternal: that's good because it my take the Cubs that long to even win their division.
I am looking forward to doing more things music-wise this summer. I am playing guitar in a bluegrass band and we are booked at a few festivals in June-August. That should be a lot of fun. I am also putting on my own festival in Susanville, California the last week of June. Rumor has it that psycho mom may even come down for that one. Here's the wed address for that one if you'd like to check it out: http://susanvillebluegrass.com.
Another music thing that has happened for me is that my bluegrass music radio program is now on a streaming internet station. I have a friend in Oregon who has had his station up and running for awhile and he asked if I would be interested in putting my show on his site. I said sure and last week it started airing at 8AM (Pacific time). It's an hour long, with no commercials, and you can get to it here: KENC Radio. I try and mix up the content with old and new, fast and slow, and it seems to turn out pretty good. Check it out if you get a chance.
Alright, that's enough jabbering for one morning...time to go check out some other things. See ya.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Embed a YouTube video into Blogger
For you Jeni:
Find a YouTube video you want to share. Directly to the right of the video box there's some blue lettering marked "embed". Click on that so it's higlighted, right click the mouse and copy the code. Go to your blog page and start a new post. At the top of your blog post dialog box you will already be in the "compose" tag. Click the "edit HTML" tag. Click in the dialog box and paste your code into it. Click on the "compose" tab and you'll see the video in your new post. You can click in that dialog box and hit enter a few times to give yourself some room above the video so you can type what you want. Let me know if that works for you.
Here's my absolute favorite video for you.
And like a bad penny...
I have returned.
I have decided to try and give blogging another try. I'm not sure exactly why I gave up on it before. I think I simply became overwhelmed with all the things that were going on around me at the time. Well, hopefully things have changed enough to allow me to get back into a more relaxed frame of mind and return to participating in the world of the blogosphere. Please bear with me while I attempt to get back into the swing of things.
This time around I'm going to try and stay simple. I'm not going to worry about trying tweak the blog around until it becomes a work of art. I'm not going to put up any counters either. I think if I did that I'd worry too much about how many people were stopping by. I'm simply going to post up some stuff, spend some time visiting other folks, and not think about how fast the world is spinning.
So, that's it for now. At this point I'm going to start trying to find some old friends. Talk to you later.
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